Today my best friend called. I knew she was calling to tell me she was pregnant. The last 7 days I've just had this sense. I guess others did too, because her dad told her to take pregnancy test (she was in need of some pain meds for an injury).
I was surprised at my reaction -- I was completely ecstatic. I put on happy music and wrote her a card. I even tracked down her new address in my vast inbox. She may come visit me so that we can share the experience a bit in person together. She asked me about whether anything had happened with my local friend who offered to donate. Turns out that yes, today in fact I sent a letter to the clinic today asking about whether its a possibility.
And mostly I was just so relieved that she is not going to have to go through what I am going through. And that she is still the most wonderful friend and will support me in my journey.
She was convinced that it would take her at least a year to get pregnant. To her credit, several teachers at her school are going through treatments – My friend is observant and generous and helps cover things discretely if people need to pop out for a minute. Her sister in law has been dealing with this for years. My friend is not taking this pregnancy for granted.
I was convinced it would take her a month. She asked why... well this is is a woman who's cycle is SO regular and powerful, that MY cycle always synced up with her whenever I spent more than a week around her. Even last year when I was home for the holidays, with my FSH was skyrocking and my mood was hitting bottom having just learned my diagnosis, my period arrived --- just as the supplies for hers appeared on her bathroom sink. Skip progesterone to induce a period... my friend has always had just as much power over me.
Somehow this lead to some less than brilliant logic that if she is capable of controlling my cycle... well perhaps I could somehow magically be pregnant. Really I just needed any excuse to pee on the only remaining stick left in my house before we shift to a new apartment later this month. One line. No surprise. But what was different was how calm I was. I just chucked it in the trash. It was the only time my husband has ever watched me use a pee stick. He was a bit taken back that I didn't wait longer, stare more closely, or talk back to the stick more. I just shrugged realizing that mostly I just wanted some small way to be a sister-in-arms with my best friend. I may never get to directly experience what she is now experiencing, but damn it I can aim and pee on a 1 cm stick with the best of them!